Priorities

Here's another hag picture from the wedding. I still haven't gotten the rest of the pictures, but then what do you expect from a pair of newlyweds, haha! So I'll be patient and create a new photo album on Facebook once the pictures have arrived.

I apologise for once again leaving it for over a week to this new entry. The truth is, I've been fairly busy! My job is gaining momentum, and I'm supposed to actually deliver results now, which isn't so easy with lots of holidays in Germany and people taking time off in the IT departments that I'm supposed to talk to. But I'm taking up the challenge, although it means extra study and slightly longer hours for the time being. I feel well looked after in my company, I get lots of training, and so it shouldn't be impossible to meet my target. Just this week we had another training that lasted two days. It was jam-packed with information and took me a while to process; the evenings of the days in question were used to a) revise and b) relax, as much as I could in the few hours left.

My schedule was getting so full that anything spontaneous began to get difficult. When I declined going for drinks with colleagues for the second time running, one of the girls I work with said: "Well that figures, you never have time!" It sort of hit home with me and I realised I have to leave some room for the times when money is flowing a little more abundantly. And so I've decided to drop archery, much as I like it - it means weekly trainings but in the future would also include weekends away at competitions and events, as well as expense for equipment and travel. I love my dance classes so I'm sticking with those, but archery had to go.

I feel very good about this decision and will now focus on work and dancing for the time being. The dancing is absolutely amazing, I never realised how much I missed it until I took it up again. I'm basically having fun for one hour - easily the fastest hour in any given day - and the next day, my legs get all stiff and I realise that I've actually done a lot of work there. I do a class in Salsa, which is lots of fun with the Caribbean rhythms and steps, and one in Contemporary Dance, where my knees go black and blue from dropping down on them and rolling all across the floor. I have all the elegance of a baby elephant, but it's still great and works on all the right muscle groups. I'm definitely going to stick with those!

My next plans are to learn more Finnish and visit a pagan pub moot in Dublin. I'm getting paid on Monday so there won't be any excuses for not going! The Finnish is going well too although I'm determined not to let any actual Finns hear me (try to) speak Finnish just yet. Learning the vocabulary is fine and will help me find my way around airports and restaurants in Tampere, but I'm not quite ready to attempt actually saying anything just yet! The plan is to keep self-studying this year and then next year look for a teacher. My Finnish colleague at work knows someone at the embassy here in Dublin who teaches classes, so I'm going to look into that. And who knows, next summer I might even take an intensive course somewhere!

For now, I'm counting down to my holiday. It's exactly two months from now, I'm getting nervous! I hope it'll all go as I have planned. "Luckily" my hayfever seems to be early this year - after only just recovering from my sinusitis, I'm sniffling again and this time it's clearly allergy related. It usually starts in June but we had an early spring this year. Let's hope it'll disappear earlier too! I don't fancy sniffling my way through the streets of Tampere with a red nose and swollen eyes.

What else is new? I'm working on an article along the lines of "My recipe for living a happy life". It'll be about my spirituality but also about why I don't watch TV and do eat what makes me happy. I only have the basic outline so far, and the gods know when it'll be finished, but announcing it somewhere usually helps me stay focused. It was the same way with my sex article a couple years ago.

Another new moon is approaching and I'll celebrate it on Sunday night. The whole simplifying and cleansing of the past days once again fit in perfectly with the waning moon, and on Sunday I'll do some formal letting go in my ritual. I hope that I'll be completely focused on growth again by this time next week!

Hag On The Wing

I just got the first pictures of Andreas' and Karola's wedding! There's going to be hundreds more of course, but when I left for the airport yesterday, I begged the two to send me at least a few of them in advance. Here's another one:

I think it's quite obvious from all our smiles that we had a wonderful day! The setting was perfect and our medieval dresses fit in with our surroundings at the historical Ronneburg. The ceremony was simple but beautiful, and when Andreas and Karola got to exchanging their rings and vows, I actually started to cry! Something's changed there with me, I used to never, ever cry in public.

We had amazing food and the two had even hired a medieval-style musician who awed everyone with his professionalism. He has a fantastic voice and plays about six historical instruments perfectly. If you'd like to hear a sample, go to his homepage and click the various "Hörprobe" (German word for "sound sample") links. Of course, it's always better to hear that kind of thing live, and this guy also had an additional program in between courses - before the soup was served, for example, he said he sensed a witch in the audience and he'd find her and make her taste the soup, to test if it was poisoned; at which he walked here and there around the table, only to finally pull ME off my chair! It was a good laugh and I of course thought Andreas and Karola had put him on to the "witch" thing, but they swore blind they hadn't. I mean, what were the chances that he'd pick the only actual witch present??

It was the perfect day, and I'm very happy for my two. Everyone had a good time and enjoyed the cermony, the guided tour of the castle that followed, the music, and the feast. In the end we went home after packing up cards and presents and the rest of the wedding cake, and I even got some hours of sleep before I had to get back to the airport in the morning. After all that travelling last week, I was glad to be back home!

In hindsight it was a good week; I got to meet the people from the Hamburg office, including the field sales crew that I'll work with from now on, and I learned a lot more about my company from Hendrik, who's been working here for ages. I didn't get to see much of Hamburg this time, but I've already made plans to come back in summer and the do a bit of sightseeing as well as work.

It was a bit mad to come back instead of flying directly to Frankfurt from Hamburg, but in the end I wanted to see Tia and Mirias and that was more important than my own convenience. What a change those two little featherballs have wrought in my life! I used to seize any excuse to jump on a plane and stay away for as long as possible. Now I grumble whenever I have to go away and can't wait to get back home. Well, that's fine with me. Other people have children and live with very limited flexibility in terms of travel for decades, whereas I had (and used) complete freedom for all these years. I have no problem compromising now!

Of course I didn't get to squeeze in much pagan practice last week, with all the mad rushing around. The full moon was visible on the evening of the wedding and we had such an abundant celebration that it more than made up for my usual full-moon ritual. By the way, we had amazing weather too: first there was a bit of rain, for good luck, then when we took the tour the sun started coming out. I took a bit of a walk on my own at my favourite time of day, when it was just getting dark, and the air was mild and scented and like velvet. I stood under a tree next to the castle which is set on top of a hill, and took in the breathtaking view of all the surrounding countryside. When I turned to walk back inside, the first drops of rain started to fall. Twenty minutes later we had a thunderstorm, an awesome sight from the restaurant on the top floor, with windows in three directions.

I talked to many people both during my business trip and at the wedding, and I also tuned into my own reaction to my surroundings. What I found made me wonder why it is that I'm always drawn to places in climates that don't really suit me, like the temperate never-too-cold-and-never-hot weather of Ireland, the cold of Norway and now Finland... -I realised last week that I do miss the lush abundance of green and flowers in spring and summer, the way they are in countries like Germany and Austria, although I wouldn't want to live there again. Still, there's nothing like seeing the lilacs bloom all over the place in May, or walk through the fields and forests breathing in the intoxicating scent of the rich nature. One day, when I'm rich, I'm going to spend a month every year in different countries, just to catch all I love most about the seasons in different places!

Hooves Of Goat

 

Several people have asked me to take pictures of my apartment, so here you go! I took these last month just after my housewarming party, and the one above shows Natasha’s beautiful flower arrangements. I still haven’t thrown them out although they’re all withered away now. I just can’t bring myself to do it!

Here’s the budgie corner with my feathery "Guardians of the East":

And this is “my” corner, where I sit and look out of the window at the sea, read and drink tea, and spend time in Runescape with my laptop on my knees. The part of the flat you can’t see on the pictures is the kitchen-corner and the door leading to the steps up to my little “nest under the eaves”, my bedroom with the slanted roof and bathroom right next to it.

Just next to my corner, about where I stood when I took the picture, is my ritual space. It’s just big enough to whirl around its edges and dance like crazy. This is where I held my Bealtaine ritual on Thursday evening! I won’t give too detailed a description but would still like to put down in writing what I did.

I arrived back from work singing “Queen of the May” and “Song to Pan” by Inkubus Sukkubus on the top of my lungs. The title of this entry is a quote from the latter: “He comes on hooves of goat, he comes with songs that float on the wind…” –My budgies were in cheerful Bealtaine spirits and the weather which had been horrible in the morning, had turned to bright sunshine and blue skies. I busied myself with baking Bealtaine bread and then decided to do my walk in the morning, when everyone else had to go to work and I, who gets German holidays off rather than Irish ones, could stay at home.

The ritual itself was joyful and magical. I had a LOT of energy inside and when I combined that with what I raised all around me, plus the presence of the Spring Goddess and the Horned One that I had invoked, the room was soon buzzing with power. I finally grounded the excess energy and lay on the floor on my back, quickly sinking into a light trance and meditating on the God and Goddess celebrating their union in the fields and the woodlands.

Next I sent out my love and May greetings to friends and family, not any particular “list” of people but mostly those that simply sprang to mind spontaneously. I was still in my trance and in my Bealtaine vision, and so I saw these people as Goddesses and Gods, female friends with crowns of flowers on their heads and men as variations of Him, with antlers and other sexy 'accessories'! I loved the vision and only reluctantly tore myself away after a while. I was filled with the sensuality of spring and felt absolutely complete.

I then gave thanks and blessed food and wine. The first bite and a sip of wine went out my window into the back garden as a libation – too late I realised that I was in my underwear and there were people on the street who could have easily seen my leaning out the window, but thankfully they didn’t look up!! Then I said farewell to the Powers that Be and the elements, and spent the rest of the evening feasting and chatting to my Runescape friends.

The long weekend was a blessing. I thoroughly enjoyed the time off. The weather was changeable but I made the most of the sunny periods. Otherwise I managed to get some housework done and gave lots of attention to Tia and Mirias, so as to make up for the current week when I’ll leave them alone for four days and three nights. I’m not as cool as I’d like to be about the travelling; frankly, it’s just too much stress for me, so short after having been sick and with so little sleep to look forward to. Basically, I’ll be home around eight on Friday evening only to get up at 3.30 in the night and drive to the airport to catch another plane at seven (leaving the house at 4.30 will hopefully be early enough).

I’ll be packing for both trips now and meet my budgie sitter to give her the keys and some last instructions. Knowing that the cutest will be in good hands is a great relief, but I’d still prefer to be with them. Dang that business trip! I wanted to be rested for the wedding and not worry about a thing, since I’m looking forward to it very much. Thank the gods I’ve a lot of routine travelling so I know I will be fine.

Don’t worry about me, I’m just a grumpy hag and as such need to grump every now and then, haha!

Finding Abundance

No, it isn’t snowing in Ireland in April – this is a picture of winter in Finland, taken by Miikka. Alright, so it might be almost Bealtaine, but after all winter isn’t so far away yet in Finland. From what I hear, the ice on the frozen lakes is only starting to break up around this time, end of April/beginning of May. But most of all, it’s simply a beautiful picture. Although it is a road, the “roof” of leaves and the sunlight filtered through snow make it look like a magical grove. I’m not a fan of winter temperatures but this is just gorgeous!

The hagish news is first of all that I’m finally feeling better. It’s given me a great boost in energy that the „cotton-wool head syndrom“ has gone away at last. I guess it’s because I don’t eat as many of my products as I used to, that my immune system isn’t quite as rock-solid as it used to be. But still the flu wasn’t nearly as bad as I remember from years ago, when I used to get high fevers and was “out of order” for weeks at a time. Compared to that, the last week has been a breeze! I let go of the last of it at the ritual on Friday, and miraculously, Saturday was the first day that I didn’t need a single paper-tissue. May the waxing moon increase my life energy further!

It’s great to be on form again and I feel an abundance of energy that is probably a combination of recovered-from-sickness feeling and nearly-Bealtaine joy. As well, I was greeted by the most radiant sunshine this morning and marveled at the beauty and abundance all around when I drove into work. I love Mondays in general, it’s the start of a new week when anything might happen, very exciting! Right now, I can use the energy because I’ve a lot to do these days, so much so that I don’t know if I’ll be able to stick with everything I’ve started, for example the archery.

Tonight I’m going to meet my new budgie sitter (I’ll explain in a minute why I need one) to introduce her to my two cutest and see if I trust her enough to give her a house key. Tomorrow evening is my first dance class, for which I’m going to have to buy shoes in my lunch break – I hope I’ll have enough time – and the second class starts on Saturday, whilst Friday I'll have Archery as usual. On Thursday is Bealtaine Eve, and I won’t get a chance to go shopping for that so I ordered Tesco’s home delivery. Aren’t I so organised? Also, some time this week I’ll have to visit a women’s health clinic because I need a new pill prescription. Add to that the usual preparations and baking Bealtaine Bread, and trying to spend time with my budgies, and you get a very busy hag.

The reason why I’ll have to get all of this done this week is that I’ll be gone for most of next week! Andreas and Karola are getting married on Saturday 9. May, so I’m flying down Saturday morning returning Sunday afternoon. And now my manager has decided that I need to meet the sales people in my territory – North and East Germany – and so I’m going to Hamburg for two days before that, from Wednesday to Friday! Which means that I’m going to leave Wednesday, come back Friday evening, say hello to my budgies, get some sleep, and then go back to the airport on Saturday morning. Madness! I’ll only need my budgie-sitter to come in once, on Thursday, look in on them and give them fresh water. They’ll be okay otherwise although I dislike being away from them in general. Well, there’s nothing for it and I’m looking forward to both trips.

I’m not quite sure yet what I’ll do for my Bealtaine ritual. I really miss being able to light a fire outdoors, which is illegal here in Ireland! I’ll definitely take a walk, maybe in the Dalkey area, will have to look this up on the internet first. If I find a secluded spot, I might do a little ritual without a fire right there and then. In any case, I want to connect to a few trees and lie on the ground (unless it’s pouring rain) before I go back inside for Bealtaine Bread and further celebration.

From the almost explosive energy I feel, it’s going to be a great night! And the best thing is that now I’m working on the German market, I get German holidays off instead of Irish ones. I’ve always disliked the way Irish bank holidays are on Mondays, regardless of when the actual occasion takes place. So the first of May bank holiday is going to happen on the 4. for most people around here, but not for me! I’ll get to celebrate and then sleep in on Friday, for which I am very grateful.

I’ll probably do some very necessary shopping in Dublin city center on Friday. That’s another thing I need to get done, I have to dye my hair to look presentable for both the business trip and the wedding, and the only place where they sell my brand is in the middle of Dublin. It might be hard to believe but I haven’t been to Dublin city since I moved up here! I never needed to, Dun Laoghaire has everything, and I prefer my small seaside town to the big city. At least I’ll have a chance to go during a working day here in Ireland, that’s one advantage.

I hope you’ll all have a great Bealtaine!

Hachoo!

 

No, it’s not hayfever time yet...

The picture above is of the cherry blossom in my square. Isn't it beautiful? I took it just a few minutes ago, and for good measure I also took a picture of "my" row of houses:

Thankfully I'm not allergic to anything that's blossoming now. No, I have managed to catch a “theoretical flu” just before the warm season! I don’t know how it happened but fact is that my head has been filled with cotton wool since Thursday and I’ve been groggy all weekend. Thanks to my products, I don’t get the full-blown flu anymore with high fevers and a minimum of one week stuck in bed, but it’s uncomfortable enough.

I’m using the last days before the new moon to get rid of the flu and the tiredness and aching joints that go with it, so I can then cleanse myself and start gathering more and more healthy energy. The gods know I need to be on form during the day in my job, it’s still new and I’ve a lot to learn. I need to be fully present, not dizzy and unfocused as I have been lately.

But I think I’ve gotten through the worst bit yesterday, with a splitting headache and blocked sinuses. The whole thing was probably intensified by a problem in Runescape of all places, with a former clan leader. It was very unpleasant but at the same time it showed me just how wonderful my clan mates are, whom I love to bits and who’ve been infinitely supportive. People often refer to these online games as asocial, but there really is a big social aspect to them. It’s great to test one’s intelligence having “adventures” while chatting to friends at the same time. And now I’ve even managed to drag Ruth Karin to Runescape! She might even join the clan so that’ll be great. Impersonal my foot!

I’m also looking forward to getting paid on Friday – I still won’t be rich but for the first time, I’ll have a few bucks over to buy a piece of clothing or two. I’ve planned an after-work shopping trip to a nearby shopping center and am really looking forward to that. I’m not the girly type but when all your clothes were fashionable two years ago, it just doesn’t cut it in a sales job! As well, it’ll be fun to just browse. It’s something I haven’t done in months.

The last week has been quiet, mostly due to my bout with the flu. I even skipped archery on Friday and I’m looking forward to going back this week (after the shopping trip, that is). Everyone else seems to be caught up in their own stuff as well, people are getting sick or moving jobs or moving house or all of the above. It seems to be a typical waning-moon phase, with purging and cleansing and getting rid of the old.

The weather has been a bit unsettled for a couple days but by Saturday the sun was out again. Today we have 15 degrees and sunshine, which is almost summer-like for Ireland! Once I’m on my feet again health-wise, I’m going to fully enjoy the weeks that I can spend outside without fear of allergies.

It’s almost lucky that I got the start date of my dance classes wrong in the last entry – they’re really only starting next week, not this week! At least that’ll give me some time to recover. I have a feeling that I’m going to need all my strength if I want to keep up in a one-hour dance class after not doing any exercise for the gods know how long!

Time really is flying, I can’t believe it’s almost the end of April already. Andreas and Karola are getting married in less than three weeks! Management at work is also talking about sending me away to my territory in Northern Germany some time in June. I only hope the trip won't take more than a day or two so my budgies will be able to manage without me for that time.

And now I'm tired again... Sorry, but these days I don't have much stamina and I've already gone through a full day at work! To finish off this rather short entry, here's another picture, this time of the house I live in. This is the front door so you can't see the outside of my flat, which is on the top floor to the back of the house (I haven't got a bay window either)!